Sunday, April 27, 2014

Reviews of American Educational North Pole Coal, 3 Lumps

American Educational North Pole Coal, 3 Lumps
Customer Ratings: 4 stars
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As a loving uncle I always look for fun gifts for my precocious nephew. This looked like something fun with an educational spin on it so I ordered some. I had it delivered to my office and tore one package open with enthusiasm. I had it delivered to my office because I don't trust Larry, my neighborhood mail carrier. I swear he's been taking some of my Sheep Magazine issues, especially the annual shearing edition. He also makes comments about me still living at home in my 30s. Hey, Larry, it's not easy living with your parents as an adult... let's see you try it. So anyway, I can't actually attest to its freshness, as advertised, but I suppose it smells like what I imagine fresh coal should smell like. Is it really anthracite coal? Beats me, for all I know they could be slipping me some of that bituminous junk in a package and calling it whatever but I'm not going to make a mountain out of a COAL hill. I trust Amazon to not hoodwink me like that though. Ebay though? Never ever again. It'll be a COAL day in hell before I buy anything off Ebay. Now I thought this would be educational because it's from the American Educational Products company. This is the same fine company that gave the Digest-O-Rama®, which is in my opinion the best way to teach kids about farts and poop without all the silliness and giggling. I haven't yet caught on to what is so educational about this coal but it will come to me. I've had this coal in the pocket of my stretch waist cargo shorts for a few days and I'm experiencing some remarkable things. I suffer from Witzelsucht and it appears that my symptoms are improving. I highly recommend getting some if you also share this disorder. You can't have mine though, get your own. Don't worry though, I'm sure each package is practically a CARBON copy of the other.

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This is a bag of coal that weighs less than one pound. One ton of coal costs $90.00 per short ton, or about $0.05 per pound. Accordingly this costs over 150 times the price of the coal located therein. So ask yourself, is $7.20 too much to pay for a Ziplock bag and a label?

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Baha. Who wouldn't want to see their child open up a bag of coal for Christmas?! Or that niece or nephew who threw a temper tantrum in the store?! Great gag gift. Everyone needs bags of coal for Christmas, Sinners! (i kid, but srsly buy some coal)

Honest reviews on American Educational North Pole Coal, 3 Lumps

Bought this for my little brother as a joke for christmas, but was slightly disappointed when it arrived. The bag is packed with coal, causing a very dirty, worn out looking bag. Does not have that "fun" look to it.

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While this is a straight-forward product, it is a plastic bag of coal with a sticker on the outside after all, I guess I expected more. I was hoping to use this as a stocking-stuffer gag gift, as I expect most others will choose to do the same.

I was disappointed when it arrived and the "lumps" are quite a bit smaller than I had imagined. Perhaps my imagination got the best of me, and I have pictured three nice fistful sized pieces. Instead, there were three that were nail polish bottle sized.

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